Fanfiction on Crack: Phineas and Ferb Style!
by PinkamenaTheBad
Summary: We all know and love the characters from the show "Phineas and Ferb" (at least, you'd better...*evil chuckle*). But when a crazed author takes the pen...er, keyboard...stuff happens. (Rating is subject to change at any time!)


So yeah, here's a little parody thing I came up with. NO FLAMING, PLEASE! THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE BAD!

I'm not sure if I'll add any more chapters, but if anyone likes this, then I may consider it...

So, enjoy! ...OR ELSE. (Eh, I'm just kidding...or am I? *evil laugh*)

Oh, one more thing...**I do NOT hate PnF! In fact, I really like the show. **I just enjoy writing these little...stories...

* * *

**Revenge of the Fangirls**

It was a bright, sunny day in Danville. Phineas and Ferb were building some dangerous contraction in their yard, Candace was completely losing her sanity, and everyone else didn't give a crap.

"Hey, where's Perry?" Phineas asked.

"How should I know?" Ferb mumbled. He never talked much, which was totally opposite of the blabbermouth Phineas.

"Wait, is that him?" Phineas asked, pointing at a platypus standing on his hind legs like a human and wearing a fedora.

Agent P had to think quickly.

"Look, it's a polka-dot ostrich!" Perry shouted, pointing in another direction.

Phineas and Ferb looked, and Agent P quickly slipped away.

"What did he say?" Phineas asked Ferb.

"Grgrgrgrgrgrgrgr," Ferb replied with a derp-face.

Agent P opened a cabinet and entered a tunnel (how no one noticed it, we'll never know). He landed in a chair with a giant screen in front of him. Suddenly, an image popped up on the screen, and Perry screamed.

"Carl, don't point the camera at the inside of my nose!" Major Monogram snapped. The camera immediately zoomed out.

"Sorry Agent P," Monogram said gruffly. "As always, it was Carl's fault."

"It's not always my fault!" Carl whined.

"Either way, you're not getting paid!" Monogram replied. "Anyway, go stop that doofus Doof. You always know what you have to do, so these briefings are pointless, but you'll always get them whether you like it or not! Now, go on your way Agent P. I'm having DINNER with my wife."

"I wonder what's for dinner..." Carl joked, as Agent P quickly sped off.

He quickly found himself at a purple building that for some reason was shaped like an Easter Island head.

"Ah, Perry the Platypus!" said Dr. Doofenshmirtz. "As always, I'm going to trap you!"

A giant cage with several over-the-top security systems on it landed on top of Agent P, trapping him.

"Now for my elaborate plan that will inevitably fail!" Doof said. "You see, nobody likes me, as I've made clear in every single episode, so I created the Fangirl-Inator! I will blast myself with it, and all girls will fall for me! Mwahahahahaha!"

Perry just stared at him like he was stupid. Which he was. Then he bypassed every security system, because he was smart [unlike Doof]. He kicked Doof in the face, causing him to point the whachamacallit in the wrong direction and blast some random person. Some person named Ferb.

Phineas and Ferb were done with their machine, since they always build 10,000,000,000,000 foot high contraptions in just a few minutes. (How they do it, we'll never know.) Just then, the gate opened, and Isabella appeared.

"Whacha doin'?" she asked cutely.

"We just finished our machine!" Phineas announced.

"I was talking to Ferb," Isabella said flatly.

"Well that's a change..." Ferb said in [quiet] surprise. Just then, over 9000 other girls ran into the yard with hearts in their eyes.

"FERB, WE LOVE YOU!" they all screamed. They chased Ferb all over the neighborhood, trying to get a lock of his unrealistic green hair, or anything else they could grab a hold of.

"Time to do things my way!" Phineas said with an evil grin when he realized he was finally alone.

_Over 9000 hours later..._

"It's finally done!" Phineas shouted, laughing psychotically. He had built a 9000-foot-tall bomb.

He dragged the machine into the main part of Danville (which took forever, because Ferb was the one with all the muscle). Then, he pressed the button. Instantly, pink flowers popped out of the machine. At first everyone laughed, but when one flower petal hit one of the buildings, there was an instant explosion. When the smoke cleared, there was nothing but rubble. Soon, the deathly flowers destroyed everything, and the people fled. Phineas shot blue flowers out of a cannon on his machine, and soon he was the only person standing there. All of the people had been sent to another dimension.

Meanwhile, Ferb was still being overrun by fangirls. They were all screaming about how they wanted to kiss him, or marry him, or even have his children. They squealed whenever he tried to speak in his "sizzling hot" British accent. Suddenly, there was a flash of lightning, like the crack of a whip. A moment later, Ferb was the only person standing there. Both startled and relieved, he ran as fast as he could to the safest place he could think of: the boys restroom. No girls would follow him there.

Meanwhile (still), Perry was beating Doof senseless. Finally, Doof accidentally pressed one of his many self-destruct buttons, and when the smoke cleared, Perry was the only [platy]person standing there. Doof blows up all the time, so Perry left, knowing he'd have to endure this psycho again tomorrow.

_Later that night..._

"MOOOOOOOOM!" Candace screamed.

No answer.

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!" she tried again.

Still no answer.

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOM!" she screamed at the top of her lungs.

"WHAT?!" Linda snapped.

Candace took a deep breath and spoke, her words coming out in a great rush. "Perrywasfightingsomepharmaci standFerbhasn'tcomeoutofthebathroomalldaya ndPhineasbuiltaflowerbombtha tkilledeveryoneand-"

"Enough!" Linda said, standing up. "You're going to the psychiatrist."

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Candace moaned, raising her arms and face to the ceiling.

"And no Star Wars references right now!" Linda added.

_Meanwhile..._

Phineas sat under his tree, satisfied with how his day had gone. Just then, he heard a strange growling noise.

"Oh, there you are Perry," he said. "You missed a lot," he added with an evil grin.

_Somewhere in another dimension..._

"This is SO not worth minimum wage!" one of the civilians complained as a giant baby alien ate them all alive. The creature let out a large belch. And then everyone died from his stomach acids.

THE END?

* * *

"So what did you think?" Doof asked eagerly.

Everyone stared at him like he was crazy.

"So...you're a pharmacist?" Phineas asked.

Before Heinz could angrily correct him, Dan and Swampy stood up and shook their heads.

"We can't use this!" Dan said.

And that's why there are pumpkins.


End file.
